Tarot Cards: The Worst Cards To Pick

Tarot Cards: The Worst Cards to Pick (If You Enjoy Sleeping at Night)

People love tarot cards. They're mysterious. They're beautiful. They make you feel like a medieval wizard who pays contactless.

Most tarot readings are fairly reassuring.

"You're entering a period of personal growth."

Then there's that one card that makes your tarot reader inhale through their teeth like a mechanic who's just looked under your bonnet.

"Ah...that's unfortunate" says the tarot reader.

Because not every card is sunshine, rainbows and spiritual enlightenment.

Here are the tarot cards nobody wants turning up when they're already having a bad week.

10. The Moon

At first glance, it's lovely. Moonlight. Dreams. Mystery. Then you read the description: Illusions Confusion, Anxiety.

Thankfully, The Moon doesn't predict monsters.

It simply reminds you your own imagination is perfectly capable of creating them.

9. The Hanged Man

Imagine paying for a tarot reading. The reader flips over a card. It's a bloke hanging upside down from a tree.

"Err...what does that mean?"

"You need patience."

The Hanged Man is all about surrender, perspective and waiting. And nobody enjoys hearing that.

Especially in the age of same-day delivery.

8. Five of Pentacles

Nothing says "Have a wonderful future" quite like two miserable people wandering through the snow.

This card practically screams: "You are having a terrible time." Brilliant.

Didn't really need seventy-eight cards to work that one out.

7. Ten of Swords

This card has all the subtlety of a horror film. Someone is lying face-down. With ten swords in their back.

Ten.

The good news?

Tarot readers will happily explain it represents endings rather than literal stabbings. Which is comforting. Slightly.

6. Three of Swords

It's literally a heart with three swords through it. Honestly, who designed this deck...Edgar Allan Poe?

This card usually represents heartbreak, grief or emotional pain. It's basically the universe saying:

"You remember that thing you were trying not to think about?"

5. The Tower

Ah yes. The celebrity of terrible tarot cards. Lightning strikes a tower. People fall screaming through the air. Everything is on fire.

"Jeez...what does this one mean?"

"Unexpected change."

That's one way of putting it, although it's like describing a shark as "a bit of a bitey fish." The Tower represents your life exploding so something better can eventually be built. Joyful.

4. The Devil

Now we're talking. Nothing destroys the atmosphere faster than your reader casually placing The Devil on the table.

You're immediately wondering whether this was included by accident.

The Devil generally represents temptation, unhealthy habits and self-imposed limitations.

Still...they could have called it something less alarming like "The Slightly Questionable Decision-Maker" or "The Card of Probably Delete That Text."

3. Death

The card everyone fears. The card everyone misunderstands. The card responsible for approximately 97% of nervous laughter during tarot readings.

Here's the funny thing.

Death usually doesn't mean actual death. It represents endings. Transformation. New beginnings.

Which raises an obvious question. If it doesn't literally mean death...then why draw an actual skeleton carrying a giant scythe?

Marketing. That's why.

2. Nine of Swords

Imagine waking up at 3:17 a.m. You're replaying every embarrassing thing you've ever said, including that joke from Year Nine.

Congratulations. You've become the Nine of Swords.

This card is anxiety given physical form. It's the equivalent of your brain opening thirty-seven browser tabs labelled: "What if..."

1. The Tower... Again

Wait. Didn't we already do The Tower?

Yes.

But if it appears alongside Death, the Devil and the Ten of Swords...

You don't get one article mention. You get two.

The Tower is the cinematic universe of disaster.

It's the card equivalent of hearing your smoke alarm, your phone notification and your bank calling at exactly the same time.

Does it always mean catastrophe?

No.

Can it lead to positive growth?

Absolutely.

Would you rather pick literally any card with flowers on it?

Without question.

The Real Villain: The Reader's Face

Here's the thing about tarot. The cards themselves are just cardboard. The true horror begins when the reader turns one over...goes completely silent...and says:

"Interesting."

A professional mystic saying "Interesting" means your emotional support snacks are about to become medically necessary.

Honourable Mentions

The Hermit – Congratulations. You're spending quality time with yourself. Again.

Five of Cups – Here's everything you've lost. Please ignore the perfectly good cups still standing.

Eight of Swords – You're trapped. Mostly by your own overthinking. Which somehow makes it worse.

Judgement – Everyone's favourite activity: being evaluated. No pressure.

So... Which Card Do You Actually Want?

Honestly?

The Sun. A child rides a horse. Everyone's smiling. Nothing is on fire. And nobody has been stabbed.

No demons. No collapsing internal architecture. No existential dread. Just sunshine.

After spending time with the rest of the deck, that feels less like a tarot card and more like winning the lottery.

Because tarot, much like life, isn't really about avoiding the scary cards.

It's about trying not to panic when they show up.

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